WROTE THIS PART ON MONDAY AND DIDN’T POST IT:
So yesterday was worse than Saturday. Yeah worse. Let’s put it this way…..at one point Doug asked me if he thought I should be checked by the doctor because I seemed to be getting worse instead of better. I assured him that if I felt as bad today as I did yesterday I WOULD be making a phone call. Of course I ate the wrong this for breakfast and it decided to go straight through me……….four times. That didn’t help. I basically just laid on the couch all day, sleeping off and on, and just with no energy or just feeling awful. I never got on the computer…….not that I had been on it much all week, but I didn’t even get on it at all. In fact, I didn’t hardly feel like emailing from my Blackberry, something I HAD been doing all week because I could lay down on the couch and do that without much effort. But that’s how awful I felt yesterday. I watched the Penguins game, but barely could even enjoy it. I was discouraged…..really discouraged. All day long I struggled with whether I should continue to take the pain pills or not. I hate taking them. But I realized that even though I don’t actually have much pain (because I am being a good girl and not lifting or doing anything I’m not supposed to and basically just resting and trying to heal) I feel SO much better when I take them. I don’t understand why. Unlike the pain pills that I take for my headaches that knock me out, these actually seem to give me more energy or something…….I know I feel better, that’s all I can say. So finally last evening at 6 pm I gave in and took one……….first one since 6 pm Saturday. Unbelievable. Within an hour or so I was starting to feel fairly decent again. I actually felt like talking………..much to Doug’s dismay! LOL Just kidding. He was glad that I was actually starting to feel good again. I actually felt like getting on the computer for a little bit. I actually was able to enjoy the Steelers game (especially since they won and Big Ben was incredible the whole game!). Again, I don’t understand it. But it works, so since I have a few left I guess I will take advantage of them. Oh……….late afternoon we went to Giant Eagle. I needed some Zantac and in case they didn’t have exactly what I sent Doug for I figured it was better to just go and find what I wanted myself……….and again, if I am going to work tomorrow I need to be able to see if I can walk a few steps out in public right? Well I survived……I went in and got what I needed which is fortunately near the front of the store and then sat on the blood pressure checker thing waiting for Doug. But man, it took SO much out of me…….I couldn’t believe it!
So all week when I am discouraged everyone keeps telling me it’s only been 3 or 4 or 5 days since you had major surgery………be patient. So this morning I finally crawled out of bed around 9-ish and said to myself “Okay, it’s been a week……..as of right now my gallbladder has been gone a week…..a week ago today at this time I was in the recovery room………..it’s been a week……..it’s been that week that everyone keeps talking about”. Okay……….so I still didn’t feel that great! Where is my energy? Why does my belly and ex-gallbladder area still hurt sometimes? Why do I wonder if I am going to be able to even work tomorrow? Why do I look at things in the house that need done and know that I still can’t take care of it? ARGH Okay so it HAS only been JUST a week. I know, I know. It’s just hard because I have so much I want to do and just can’t do it. All the stuff I had planned to do in this past week never got done. None of it. It was simple stuff……..just paperwork and on the laptop…………stuff I could do on the couch. But I have to keep remembering what my dear friends and family keep telling me…………you have to heal……….it takes a lot of energy to heal………..and every little bit of energy you have it going to that and that’s why there is nothing left to even write and type. Again, thank goodness for my Blackberry so I could be in touch with people without much effort……just holding a little phone! It was hard to not have people to talk to all day……..but I didn’t really even feel like talking. So again, emails were the lifesaver. Thanks to all of you for keeping in touch and putting up with my frustrations and impatience.
So…………how am I now that it is a week and a couple hours? LOL Still on the couch. Still not a lot of energy, however I did try to pull up the covers on the bed finally today and make it look a little better (THAT drove me crazy not being able to do that every day! LOL). I put some of my clothes in the washer and Doug will have to put them in the dryer when he gets home because now that they are wet they are heavier than what I should be lifting. As you can see I am typing……..on the computer………..trying to force myself to sit up and do this to see if I can actually even go to work tomorrow. I walked out to the car to get something out of the back that I sold on Ebay (still in the totes in there from last trip to Ligonier!). I’m trying, I really am. I am going to try and pack up a few orders (yes, 4 MORE orders on Ebay this weekend!) and then try to organize my paperwork and pay some bills online and write out checks. I figure all this will be a test of what I do at work and can I really sit up long enough to do all this instead of lying down all day like I have been doing. I figure if I can’t make it 4 hours tomorrow, well then they will get 2 and I will keep trying to work up from there. Driving will be strange since I haven’t done that in a while! Granted I need to take some time and lay down and rest, but I need to try. Then tonight a short trip over to Doug’s parents’ house for dinner for Doug’s birthday. I hated to do it, but I asked them if they could have us over because I didn’t want it to just be a normal day for Doug but I knew there really wasn’t anything I could do……….and Nancy was very happy to do it. So a quick trip over there (3 miles is all) and of course they have a nice couch I can relax on!
After sitting a couple hours yesterday on computer I was beat. So I notified work that I was going to try 2 hours Tuesday and Wednesday instead of 4 and then maybe 4 on Thursday and Friday. We went to Doug’s parents’ for birthday dinner and I was tired after dinner so laid down on the couch. We didn’t stay real long and headed home so I could rest.
Woke up today with a bad headache. Great. First day trying to return to work and a migraine. Nice. Good thing I only told them I would make it 2 hours! So I went in and it was rough. Sitting and moving around and putting things in drawers and stuff is rougher even than just sitting up on the couch at home on the laptop. I made it the 2 hours but ouch. Oh………..and driving hurt, too…………anytime I had to look to pull out of a street or back out of a parking place yeah, it hurt. So I came home and have done nothing again except pack up a couple more Ebay orders.
So I will try another 2 hours tomorrow. Guess having major surgery at 51 years old is a little rougher than I thought it would be!